Self-Compassion and Trauma: Supporting a Different Response to Self-Criticism

This article explores how self-compassion can support people experiencing trauma-related self-criticism and introduces a practical three-part Self-Compassion Break.

Trauma-related stress can shape not only how a person responds to what has happened, but also how they relate to themselves. Dr. Farah Jindani explores this through the fight, flight, and freeze responses, examining how these protective mechanisms can continue to influence a person’s internal experience long after a difficult or traumatic event.

Self-compassion offers another way of relating to these experiences through self-kindness, common humanity, and mindful awareness—not to negate what has happened, but to bring a different form of awareness and compassion to what is already present.

Drawing from Dr. Jindani’s Healing Trauma with Integrative Approaches course, this article explores self-criticism, shame, isolation, and rumination in the context of trauma and introduces a Self-Compassion Break to support a kinder, more balanced response to difficult internal experiences.

Contents:

1. When Stress Turns Inward
2. Shame and Self-Judgment
3. A Different Way of Relating to Distress
4. A Self-Compassion Break for Difficult Moments
5. Supporting Self-Compassion in Practice
6. Learn More: Healing Trauma with Integrative Approaches

When Stress Turns Inward

Trauma can affect not only how people respond to what is happening around them, but also how they relate to themselves. Dr. Jindani connects this with the familiar stress responses of fight, flight, and freeze.

When fight turns inward, it may appear as self-criticism. Flight may take the form of silence or self-isolation, accompanied by thoughts such as, Other people don’t get it. How could they understand? Freeze may show up as rumination or becoming absorbed in thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, or pain.

For helping professionals, recognizing these expressions can be important. Self-criticism, isolation, and rumination may be ways that stress is showing up internally and can be important to recognize in trauma support. 

Shame and Self-Judgment

Dr. Jindani describes shame as often being at the heart of trauma. It can affect self-image, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and confidence, leaving people feeling flawed, worthless, or unlovable. In some cases, they may also blame themselves for what happened.

These experiences can become connected with negative self-judgment and the way a person views themselves: I shouldn’t feel this way. I should be coping better. Why am I still struggling?

Self-compassion offers an alternative, not by denying what happened or minimizing the pain, but by creating the possibility of meeting that pain with less self-judgment.

Relating to Distress with Self-Compassion

Dr. Jindani describes three elements of self-compassion that can be particularly relevant in the context of trauma:

Self-kindness can offer an alternative to self-criticism.

Common humanity can help counter the isolation that often accompanies shame or trauma. This does not mean assuming everyone has experienced the same thing or comparing suffering. Rather, it recognizes that pain and struggle, in different forms, are part of the human experience.

Mindful awareness can help a person notice and name thoughts, emotions, and bodily experiences without becoming fully absorbed in them.

Together, these elements can invite greater self-kindness in the presence of self-judgment, a sense of connection alongside isolation, and a more balanced awareness of difficult experiences.

A Self-Compassion Break for Difficult Moments

Dr. Jindani brings these three elements together through a Self-Compassion Break, which can be used during stressful moments or transitions in the day.

Rather than beginning with an overwhelming experience, she encourages choosing something challenging but manageable—around a three or four on a ten-point scale—and noticing what is happening in the situation and the body.

1. Bring Mindful Awareness to the Difficulty

Begin by acknowledging what is present:

“This is a moment of suffering.”

The language can be adapted to what feels natural:

This hurts.
This is really hard right now.
I’m struggling.

The intention is simply to recognize and name the difficulty.

2. Remember Common Humanity

The second phrase is:

“Suffering is a part of life.”

This might also become:

Other people feel this way, even if their experience is different.
I’m not alone.
It is not abnormal to feel this way.

This reminds us that we all struggle in our own ways and that suffering is part of life. 

3. Bring in Self-Kindness

The third phrase is:

“May I be kind to myself.”

If supportive, a person might place a hand over their heart or another area of their body that offers a sense of comfort.

When self-kindness feels difficult, Dr. Jindani suggests considering what you might say to a friend or someone you support:

I’m here for you.
You’re not alone.
I care about you.

It can also help to ask:

“What do I need to hear right now?”

The practice can end by noticing how the body feels and allowing sensations to be as they are. The emphasis is on noticing what is arising with awareness and kindness, without a need to fix it or focus on a particular outcome. 

Supporting Self-Compassion in Practice

For helping professionals, self-compassion can be supported not only through formal practices but also through the helping relationship itself. Dr. Jindani emphasizes being engaged, connected, and calm, which can contribute to connection and co-regulation.

This may involve helping someone notice self-criticism without immediately trying to change it, recognizing shame or isolation, and finding language for self-compassion that feels authentic to them.

Because self-compassion practices can themselves be challenging for people who have experienced trauma, Dr. Jindani emphasizes introducing them gradually, in a stepped way, and over time. Rather than focusing on a particular outcome, the practice can support grounding, awareness, and a kinder way of relating to whatever is arising.

Learn More: Healing Trauma with Integrative Approaches

Interested in learning more? In Healing Trauma with Integrative Approaches, Dr. Farah Jindani combines learning, guided practices, and practical strategies that helping professionals can adapt to support clients.

The course introduces integrative approaches for redefining healing, cultivating strengths and inner resources, building compassionate and authentic connection, and remaining grounded, flexible, and attuned during times of stress and trauma.

10 CE hours · 4 self-paced modules · 15+ guided practices · Lifetime access

Learn More About the Course

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Farah Jindani, Ph.D., is a clinician, educator, and researcher. She's renowned for her groundbreaking work at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health and with Harvard University in integrative treatments, particularly using Kundalini yoga to address post-traumatic stress.

Sarah Kraftchuk, MSc, RP (qualifying), is Head of Learning at the Mindful Institute. She is a licensed clinician, certified mindfulness facilitator, art therapist, and children’s book author. 

Michael Apollo, MHSc, RP, is a licensed clinician, mindfulness educator, and Founder of the Mindful Institute. With over 15 years of experience, he specializes in practical, evidence-based mindfulness training for helping professionals. Formerly Director of Mindfulness Programs at the University of Toronto, Michael has collaborated with organizations like the World Health Organization, the UK NHS, and the Canadian Parliament to support mental well-being and resilience in diverse settings.

Disclaimer

The content in our blog articles is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health provider with any questions you may have regarding your mental health.